Discrimination in an Equal World

To begin with I am an immigrant in a more developed country and I have my entire family settled in the developed country, however I cannot stay here as I am over 18 and beyond this point you are considered an adult and therefore completely independent of your family and according to the border, they seem to think you don’t need them. I respect that there has to boundaries and there is a need for rules, surely everybody can’t be allowed to live anywhere, where is the fairness in that right? Well here’s my question, where is the fairness in not letting someone into another country who is not a mass murderer obviously and does not intend to do any harm? I understand if they bar ycan work for the lower pay. I understand that each country have to look after their own country men, I wonder who’s fault it is that I was born in a developing country and not in a developed country. Why do the developed countries have immense numbers of immigrants, everybody wants to get the advantages of being in a developed country. I am not a student of the social economic status, perhaps I dont understand the implications of a world citizenship, but here I am writing my own opinions and it feels like I am being discriminated against by my location of birth. It does not matter how hard I try because I was born in a different country I have to work twice as hard to prove myself and yet they change rules and continuously try to make my life hell, where as the other people do not have such problems. Being stuck in a job because I cannot move jobs due to visa restrictions makes me behind other people who are allowed to do what they want to, people are allowed to move jobs, trial them, take internships that pay little or no money and they can do this because they are allowed to stay in the country. Illegal immigration wouldnt be such a problem if the world had one citizenship and everybody was allowed to move and live anywhere. That companies could hire anybody and it was based purely on merit  rather than family. The hierarchy of the world is unfair and as much as we fight discrimination, equality is light years away. I know that my children and theirs will be judged by where they were born and therefore the opportunities available to them will be limited. It depends on family and how much money they have and who you are. Yes there are people who make it from scratch, but honestly what happens to the regular person who doesnt have the skill or extreme intelligence to make a massive difference?

What if I never make it,  never be successful,  never have enough money to pay for the stuff you know you want, that  you desire you feel represents who you are in your head and yet you cant be that person and it reflects on your person and on your life itself! Its unfair that a persons dignity is so closely intertwined to the money you make, to the career you have, to the life you can lead. Its annoying that a visa is what makes you who you are. What happened to equality?  There is no equality in the world where you are always defined by your country of birth, by the colour of your skin, to hear the rudeness in someone’s voice on a phone far away, when they know you are not the person they thought you were, the anger, the aloofness when they realise you don’t speak like an immigrant should. If there was true equality there would be one world, one world order and true equality across the board that everybody would have equal rights to every thing, to leave a country to go to the next that you would not be judged and slotted based on the country you were born in . Its like you are being blamed for the economic state of your country, when you were born a baby in your mothers womb your fate was decided your life slotted, you are from a third world country, to get into another you need money, you need to be different, if you aren’t smarter, more intelligent, more capable than the next and the next, and mostly more luckier, that fate, karma and God would be on your side, you have no rights. You cannot escape the life, the traditions, the future that was handed down  to you and intended for you. If your parents cant afford to educate you, you go no where what if nobody told you or showed you what you could be, what is out there and what you can achieve? You ll never know and if you never know you cant succeed but its far worse than to have seen, to have explored, yet to give up, its stupid and atrociously unfair. My rant will get me nowhere like screaming into to the wind

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The Curse they call Ambition

Nobody told you – Nobody told me that ambition would be a curse. A curse that to escape one would have to sacrifice everything because you cannot escape your mind as much as you would like to. For to loose your mind is to loose yourself, and if you lost your self nothing would matter then. Its the vicious cycle – where your thoughts torture you and to escape it you torture yourself.


Nobody told me, nobody told me that ambition was a curse, that a job would define you that your career means so much. People say a job is just a job – nobody tells you that if you have no job you will have no money hence you cannot feed yourself and hence you will die. Nobody told you that if you dont have a job you wont have any money and money is necessary. If you are a woman if you dont have money you cannot buy the pretty dress that will impress the man you like or the make up to make him look at you. Nobody told you that education means squat unless you can use it to find a job to pay your bills. Nobody told you that reassessing your priorities means sacrifices, nobody told you that the priorities you had will have to change based on your circumstances that what you thought you need when you cannot get that sucking up and taking what you got and being happy with it takes a sacrifice and a rather tough decision.


I promised myself I wouldn’t ever become one of those women. The ones who were not successful who hated themselves and couldnt go out because of it. When I look in the mirror i see that woman and I cannot run away from what is myself. To accept who I am means letting go of my dreams and ambition and i cannot find the way to do what is necessary to embrace that which is painful, that which means that I would rather be dead and removed from my thoughts and the person I have become than accept this and move on. I told myself that to let go of myself and become that person meant to give up and I was not a quitter and than I would fight till my dying day to become what I want to be. But to not quit means to live with myself everyday to remain hopeful of a better life that might apparently satisfy me. But I cannot find what it is – does it lie in religon and cigarettes? Or drinking, sex, men and relationships ??. I dont think that the 5 minutes of laughter and contentment will get me through the rest of my life. I dont understand what people need to achieve it. The world today makes so many expectations on us. Its about being gregarious and outgoing a peoples person if you must. You must sing you must dance you must network you must be on facebook and there is no place no time or space to be wasted on someone who is introverted and shy. WHo doesnt want to pretend to fit in and wants to find meaning.


I dont know what is left anymore – what is left for this world for the person who has nothing and no where to go. Where is hope when the clock is ticking when younger more better people are rising up all around you when your dreams and life itself is threatened from every corner existing. How do you escape and embrace reality and love it anyways and love yourself above all how do you love your self when you hate yourself? Ambition is a curse the one that makes you hate you and  love anybody who has it in them to achieve that which you failed to gain.

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The American sitcom Girls has done very well and I personally think its because it is so real. I tend to wonder what it would be like if my life and those of my friends were turned into such what the world would think of it. The raw reality of Girls strikes me as being so different from world that is portrayed on tele today, perhaps to help us escape the harsh reality of our lives. Girls on the other hand makes you feel good that everything is not all about the Hamptons but rather there are people like you who struggle to make it as well. Turning 26 was a hard step for me, having a low paying job living at home and not owning a car leave alone a driving license was the worst. Have much to be grateful for I realise, atleast I dont have to count everything 8 times!

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Dreams that play Hide and Seek

There was a time when I was young, (it’s not that unbelievable), when dreams were a reality. I remember looking at people and thinking to myself I won’t let that happen to me. But life isn’t exactly what I perceived it to be. Not to be a pessimist, but I wish someone would have told me that most times maybe 80/100 times things don’t always turn out the way you imagine them.

The media is full of people who are survivors, even destinys child wrote a song on being a survivor! If we consider for a minute how much of the media is bombarding us with “how to be a survior” material, you’d think that it would have sunk in. That I would have got the point. Remember “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you never going to keep my down”, “The Oprah Show”, the cancer survivors blog, the person who was made redundant, the job seeker, the job finder, the death beater, love finder, mother hater, family seeker I could go on. But nobody told me.

I want to know what people do when they find out and they realise that its not real and that my life is never going to be what I dreamt up for it, when the only way is to accept what fate has offered but I don’t have a clue how to begin – what do they do? What do I do (with no cliches applicable, I am fed up of “its going to be”, “eventually you’ll find a path”), how on earth do you pick yourself up of the floor, cos its the hardest thing that you as a person have had to face. I’m not comparing myself to other people, I’m sure there are people who have it harder than I do, but personally when you hit a wall what do you do to keep the flame alive.

I’d like to quote Emeli Sande here, she has the uncanny ability to put into words what I can only feel:


I guess it’s funnier from where you’re standing
Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing
I’ve done it again
Another number for your notesI’d be smiling if I wasn’t so desperate
I’d be patient if I had the time
I could stop and answer all of your questions
As soon as I find out
How I can move from the back of the line.
I’d be less angry if it was my decision
And the money was just rolling in
If I had more than my ambition
I’ll have time for ‘Please’
I’ll have time for ‘Thank you’
As soon as I winFrom a distance my choice is simple
From a distance I can entertain
So you can see me
I put make-up on my face
But there’s no way you can feel it
From so far away.
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Too far from the crib

I have noticed that the older I have got, the less advice I receive from people. Perhaps its the amazing growth and maturity that I have shown in the past year, however I am starting to think it might be that I have gotten far too arrogant over time. Either ways, I miss the advice. I miss people telling me its all going to fine. I think I miss being taken care of or treated like a child.

Its ironic that the older you get the more stronger the exterior you are to exude. Mature, powerful etc.  But what if you can’t, I think most 25 – 30 year old’s are still figuring it out. Here you are second job, a committed relationship/ newly single, finding somewhere to live and then confused. What now? Nobody ever prepares you for what happens after you get a job, have enough money and a loving relationship or a respectable single life. Its sad that most of my education (I don’t want to generalise) was to make this amazing life for my self. The life consisted of a high flying career and all the stuff that comes from it. Nobody said to me that doing the same things over and over would make me absolutely bored. That monotony was awful. What happens to us 25 year old’s who haven’t got a clue about what’s next, how to get there and where can I possibly get a break? What happens to those of us who want advice and not therapy?

“Her cries pierce the darkness. Through the blackened halls, she wanders and calls their names, but only the silence replies to her. Confused, she searches their hiding places. Calling them as she travels from room to room. The panic in her voice growing as she finds nothing but emptiness in their usual hiding places. She cannot understand why they do not come to her. So on through the blackened halls she wanders. Searching for that which she has lost” (http://dafeenah-hiddentreasure.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/cries-in-night.html)Image

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And the power goes to.

The Power Bag!

I was recently trolling through the internet and I found something I would much like to have. And I have decided it would be a nice idea to make you want it too. Its called the power bag, and it has the power to recharge your phone up twice! It also can charge your other gadgets such as tablets, readers, etc. The technology is quite simple. Every night you charge up the battery connected to the bag and during the day you can top your device from the charge retained by the bag. The bag can charge upto 4 devices at a time.

The downside for me would be that the reason I usually have no charge in my devices is because I forget to charge them up at night and if I did that with a power bag I’d imagine the point of it would be lost. The fact that the bag has a button on the other hand seems like so much fun! (Yes, I am a nerd!). The bags are quite ugly though, they seem burly and rather unattractive. This is a personal opinion, and I am also not a woman pro backpacks. I think they look rather strange on me. That being said I can see the market for these bags especially lying among those with long commutes.

You can check out the bag here : http://www.mypowerbag.com/

PS: I was NOT paid to talk about the bag (as you can tell with some of my rude comments).

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The Responsibility Conscience

Society, our upbringing, parents, teachers, managers, organisations, the Government. We all desire freedom, but the question remains is it a want or a need. The debate about whether humanity needs a government, a body to control its actions has been around long. I have always wondered if perhaps we did not actually have a big brother on our backs, would humanity be more humane? More kind and caring?

Responsibility has been ingrained in us from a young age, if this was a case of conscience and not of being taught, then can it be safely assumed that not having a law to break would decrease the challenge for law breakers. If the responsibility conscience was then fed by ourselves perhaps we would care more about the next person, our fellow human mate, one who is like us. If there was no division nobody to call you different, to challenge you, if we were all one in wealth and power, in abilities, would it mean the world would be perfect?

Venture an opinion or two would you?

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